a5c7b9f00b Twenty-four million years ago, Megalodon was a 20 tonne killing machine with a 10 foot gaping bite. When two researchers discover a colossal shark&#39;s tooth off the Mexican coast their worst fears surface - the most menacing beast to ever rule the waters is still alive and mercilessly feeding on anything that crosses its path. Now they must hunt the fierce killer and destroy it… before there is no one left to stop its reign of terror! When two researchers discover a colossal shark&#39;s tooth off the Mexican coast their worst fears surface - the most menacing beast to ever rule the waters is still alive and mercilessly feeding on anything that crosses its path. This film is UNBELIEVABLE!!!!! I haven&#39;t laughed so much in ages!<br/><br/>Is it just me…. or do the two main actors have massive teeth? I&#39;m thinking the tooth found in the underwater cable belongs to one of them , Lord knows they have enough to spare!!!<br/><br/>The acting in this mess of a movie is so appalling; I kept expecting there to be a lot more gratuitous nudity and sex scenes, although I&#39;ve seen pornography with more talent in it. <br/><br/>And what&#39;s with the grunting and groaning from the shark? Maybe it read the script and was trying to communicate with it&#39;s agent! I&#39;d sue!<br/><br/>Meanwhile, if this is the 3rd in the series, I don&#39;t think I want to see the other 2 …. it would be very hard to match the standard of this film.<br/><br/>I&#39;m going to pop down to the DVD store and ask for my 90 minutes and $1.95 back … I&#39;m not even going to illegally burn this one…. not that I do that sort of thing…. When I decided to watch this flick, I already had a hunch that it would stink. There were enough hints in the Web and from people I know personally to tell me that. But I didn&#39;t care. The Megalodon has somehow fascinated me ever since I learned of its (former) existencea child. I always wanted to see this giant shark in comparison to a human - not justa drawing in a book.<br/><br/>Well, this movies really does stink. And with that I mean just about every aspect. The dialogs themselves and the related editing are of a quality you find in cheap porn movies. After just about every dialog-scene you expect to see a girl go to her knees for (the obvious). The voices sound pathetic and some actors even seem to have trouble remembering their single-liners!<br/><br/>This is the kind of movie where you repeatedly want to shout &quot;Bull!&quot; at the screen. The actions and reactions of the characters are just too pathetic, sharks bitten in half by the giant monster shark are later seen in one piece lying on the beach and so on. In many cases the actions of the victims are likely to cause an accident even without the shark around (like driving a speedboat while drunk).<br/><br/>The one pretence I had (seeing Megalodon in comparison with humans) wasn&#39;t fulfilled. The special effects were just too corny. They mightwell have used scenes from Futurama. I mean really, nobody would have noticed. There were so many scenes taken from other footage like documentaries. The lighting and colour balance was completely different, but what the heck? Nobody will notice. Or did they?<br/><br/>Normally, I don&#39;t really care much for boobs in movies, because they are usually there to distract from the flaws. In Shark Attack 3 the flaws are big enough to make the few seconds with boobs and pretty girls the only scenes worth seeing. And I can hardly believe I just wrote that!<br/><br/>At first, I couldn&#39;t really understand, why there are so many reviews stating that their authors laughed throughout the whole movie. When I think about it, I can understand them quite well now. I mean, where else can you learn so many unique things? Here is a rather incomplete list:<br/><br/><ul><li>Megalodon is a morphing shark that can change its size depending on what it wants to swallow, like a person, a boat or whatever.</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>Although Megalodon&#39;s teeth look nearly exactly like the teeth of a great white (apart from the size), a crappy digital photo of one baby tooth (without anything to compare its size to) is enough to let one (and only one) paleontologist identify the animal within a second.</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>The first thing every paleontologist does during a &quot;non-break&quot; at night is read the shark forum.</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>Megalodon could survive in the very dark and rather foodless deep sea trenches for at least 1.6 million years, even though all evidence makes Megalodon a fast-swimming predator that hunts close to the surface by sight when its prey is near and has a metabolism to match (Megalodon is considered to be one of the Lamnidae, which is the same familythe great white and mako shark).</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>If you take a photo of a shark&#39;s tooth, it doesn&#39;t matter that you are holding and covering it on one side with your fat thumb. The camera will still get the complete tooth.</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>Digicams only catch the main motive, none of the background.</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>Text in the internet is always in big coloured letters.</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>Divers take along their dogs so they can play Frisbee with them on the beach after diving.</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>If a creature which is supposed to be extinct suddenly shows up (thus not being extinct and an actual scientific sensation), even the scientists will want to kill the animal (with a torpedo).</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>Mini-subs that from the outside look about the size of a portable toilet have enough room inside for two seats, a place to put on a diving suit, an air lock and even room to spare for a small BBQ-party.</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>Submarines are controlled by game pads.</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>Fitting an unarmed mini-sub with a torpedo-launcher that could sink a battleship is a small task for an otherwise boring afternoon.</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>A 20m shark can attack a 100m superyacht making it shakeif it would capsize any second, although the difference in weight between the fish and the boat is like an ant kicking a brick.</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>When your yacht is being attacked by a giant monster shark, the first thing you&#39;ll want to do is go outside and climb up to the slippery places without any railing, just to make sure you fall into the water the next time the shark gives the boat a thump. If for some reason you don&#39;t fall into the water, JUMP! After all, the water is much safer than a giant yacht if a hungry shark is around.</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>Mexico is somewhere in south-east Europe.</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>Attacking sharks make weird creepy sounds with their voice.</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>Girls that have to be saved from the giant shark have been rubbed down with olive oil to make them too slippery to save.</li></ul><br/><br/><ul><li>A torpedo that could sink a battleship blows the shark and the sub it was launched from to kingdom come while leaving a human who is close enough to smell the shark&#39;s fish-breath uninjured (apart from a good shake down).</li></ul><br/><br/>If you want a boring laugh, go watch it. The fact that one dirty pick-up line is the only thing that ever got known about this movie should give you a hint. Even the synopsis on the DVD-cover is completely wrong!
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363 weeks ago